The past seven days I got feedback from some of you on how they identified situations where they focus on the uncontrollable.
From starting into your race with a mind full of doubts, to get angry when your watch doesn’t show you what you envision, to more subtle things like having a preconceived idea of how the next interval session might go.
You identified a state that you wish to change.
Today you will take big steps towards an improved you. You will learn
why the word don’t has no power,
how you change the state you want to change,
and get crystal clear on who you will be.
This is part of the “Mental Toolbox Series”. A series where you learn about mental training, mindsets and skills to prepare yourself for any challenge. It’s focused on the sport of trail and ultra running. If you enjoy what you read I would love to have you following along.
This is part III. If you are new to the series I recommend reading through past entries at your own pace. They guide you from big-picture thinking towards essential skills. See it as a mini-course.
Last week's issue can be found here:
The Issue With “Don’t”
Our brains often default to negating what we don’t want.
I don’t want to get angry anymore when I’m off pace.
I don’t want to think I will have a hard time during my next interval session.
I don’t want to doubt myself at the start line of a race.
Interestingly enough our brain can’t comprehend the idea of don’t.
Famous example? – Don’t think of a pink elephant! – What did you think of?
The problem is that focusing on what we don’t want still leads the brain to focus on that thing.
If I would think – “I’m running pretty close to a cliff right now, just don’t stumble” my mind is focused on falling. It can’t understand the word don’t.
On the other side if I think - “I’m running pretty close to a cliff right now, focus on your foot placement”, my mind is now focused on the idea of running safely.
To change, you need to know your desired state. You need direction. You need to know who you want to be. It’s that simple.
Finding Your Blueprint
Who do you look up to? Who shows traits that you love that you think you are missing in yourself? Who inspires you?
You feel drawn to those persons because they have character traits that you adore. Some of those you have yourself, others you wish you had.
Think back to the situation you identified from last week’s reflection.
For those who are first-time readers let’s take the example of pre-race doubt (I still recommend working through last week’s letter!).
You stand at the start line and you have doubts about your preparation. You had to skip a workout here and there. You missed a long run. Your confidence could be higher. Try to put yourself in that person’s shoes (quite literally).
How would the person you thought of before handle the same situation?
Specifically, if we pick up what we can control from last week:
What are their actions?
What are their thoughts?
What are the words they tell themself?
What attitude are they showing?
I vibe a lot with Zach Miller. He leaves it all out there. When he stands at a starting line you know that his thoughts are on giving it your best. In my mind, he pumps himself up with words of courage and confidence. He is expressing that inner feeling visibly by – what I can only describe as – running his gut out.
All those things have nothing to do with how his training went. He couldn’t care less if he missed a long run or a workout. He is standing at the start line willing to give it his best. Everything he does, thinks and says is a representation of that will.
He isn’t focused on what he can’t or shouldn’t do.
Creating The Blueprint
I would love you to do something for yourself this week.
Take some minutes out of your day, sit down with a piece of paper and think about who you want to be in your situation.
Don’t stop there. Think how you would need to be so that this situation might not even arise.
Be super specific:
What thoughts would you need to have?
What actions would you need to do?
What words would you tell yourself?
What attitude would you have?
What emotions would you feel?
How would your body language be?
Hint from last week: Only things you can control are landing on the list ;)
I’m sure you are already aware of where I’m going with this. You focus on how you want to be. We are taking the don’t out of the equation.
My suggestion: Take one of those questions each day. Reflect on it. Maybe you have more than one person that you admire. Keep their character traits in mind during those reflections. Think about who you want to be and less about who you are, or your current limiting beliefs.
The goal is that by next week’s entry to the series you should have a pretty clear idea of who you want to be in your given situation.
Next Week: Owning The Blueprint
I believe that your past carries weight, but at the same time, I know that you can change in an instant if you want to. To make change towards your desired state much easier you will learn a technique that will make it possible for you to bring your desired state into the now as often as you like.
I’m already excited about sharing it with you!
To recap this week:
Think towards the future instead of the past – How do you want to be?
Create a blueprint of your ideal being (for your situation).
Focus on things that are under your full control.
Don’t limit yourself based on your past experiences – dream.
Thank you for spending your valuable time reading what I write. I hope it helps you be a better version of yourself.
All the feedback I got last week meant a lot. I appreciate you!