Thanks for this, I feel your words very much. "I am broken“ has also become a demon of mine for the past 3 years. I know I’m not and I also know - just like you - that I had / have to adapt my training to my everchanging body and life. It’s hard to let go the runner I was. It’s also hard to unlearn the lessons that were true for me for so many years. But I’m on a good path. Just like you the past weeks had been quite revealing. I even had a breakthrough workout recently, at least that’s what I called it. And it was not today’s longest run since ZUT 2025, or the first 500m downhill. It was a spontaneous shakeout run on the treadmill after a 1 hour strength session at the gym. I ran a pace that felt natural for 45 minutes and my heart rate stayed super calm. Nothing about this was special but it FELT special. Like "normal" running. It was wonderful.
When I looked objectively at how I trained the past year I just clearly saw that I was training from a fitness and resilience I had a year prior but not at that moment. When I was thinking about that it was so strange to me that I didn't plan my training differently. I know how to programm properly - but I just didn't. So what you said about "let go of the runner I was" rings a bell.
I'm more and more thinking about the state of the nervous system in context of my running and what you describe with the treadmill session sounds like what I was experiencing the other day too. Sometimes when I go out without any agenda or even with the purpose to just play and don't follow any particular numbers the run feels the most normal, or rather free. I cherish those runs the most.
BTW: super happy that you starting to feel like a runner at all again! :)
Yes, the body is always changing. On a positive note: After 6 months of super strict strength training (2 gym session, 2 home sessions every week) I can clearly feel that load is distributed differently in my body. Without digging too much into detail: my hip and my glutes play a much bigger role in running than in the past. It probably won't make me run faster or longer (ok, maybe longer is even true...) but it surely shifts my biomechanics in a more sustainable direction and thus also influences how I train.
Thanks for this, I feel your words very much. "I am broken“ has also become a demon of mine for the past 3 years. I know I’m not and I also know - just like you - that I had / have to adapt my training to my everchanging body and life. It’s hard to let go the runner I was. It’s also hard to unlearn the lessons that were true for me for so many years. But I’m on a good path. Just like you the past weeks had been quite revealing. I even had a breakthrough workout recently, at least that’s what I called it. And it was not today’s longest run since ZUT 2025, or the first 500m downhill. It was a spontaneous shakeout run on the treadmill after a 1 hour strength session at the gym. I ran a pace that felt natural for 45 minutes and my heart rate stayed super calm. Nothing about this was special but it FELT special. Like "normal" running. It was wonderful.
When I looked objectively at how I trained the past year I just clearly saw that I was training from a fitness and resilience I had a year prior but not at that moment. When I was thinking about that it was so strange to me that I didn't plan my training differently. I know how to programm properly - but I just didn't. So what you said about "let go of the runner I was" rings a bell.
I'm more and more thinking about the state of the nervous system in context of my running and what you describe with the treadmill session sounds like what I was experiencing the other day too. Sometimes when I go out without any agenda or even with the purpose to just play and don't follow any particular numbers the run feels the most normal, or rather free. I cherish those runs the most.
BTW: super happy that you starting to feel like a runner at all again! :)
Yes, the body is always changing. On a positive note: After 6 months of super strict strength training (2 gym session, 2 home sessions every week) I can clearly feel that load is distributed differently in my body. Without digging too much into detail: my hip and my glutes play a much bigger role in running than in the past. It probably won't make me run faster or longer (ok, maybe longer is even true...) but it surely shifts my biomechanics in a more sustainable direction and thus also influences how I train.